Top Ten Reasons to Stick a Ballpoint Pen In Your Eye (at work and in the home)

Top Ten Reasons to Stick a Ballpoint Pen In Your Eye (at work)

10. Two words: Hanson Muzak.
9. You might actually be able to collect on workman's comp if you do it correctly.
8. It keeps the boss out of your cubicle for at least an hour.
7. The pain keeps your mind off how many more minutes there are until lunch.
6. Co-workers see you as either a "serious artist" or a "complete lunatic". Either way, they leave you alone for once.
5. It's better than sticking a staple remover in your eye.
4. Before sticking the ballpoint pen in your neighbor's eye, attend to sticking one into thine own.
3. One eye = no depth perception = great excuse for slamming into the back of your boss' car on the way out of the parking lot.
2. If your pen's out of ink, you won't have to waste time going to the supply closet for a new one. Just sign all your documents in eye juice and blood.
1. You finally get to wear that nifty eye patch you've had your eye on since you were eight.

Top Ten Reasons to Stick a Ballpoint Pen In Your Eye (at home)

10. It's great entertainment for the kids.
9. Something to frighten off that pesky neighbor when he comes over to borrow something else.
8. The pain keeps your mind off how many more episodes of "Teletubbies" you'll have to watch in your lifetime.
7. You always have a pen handy in case someone calls and you need to write down a message.
6. Telemarketer calling? Saying "Darn it, I've got this ballpoint pen in my eye... now what were you saying?" knocks 'em off balance every time.
5. An innovative way to hang the cat's mousie toy so he can have even more fun batting it around.
4. You never have to think up another Halloween costume.
3. One eye = no depth perception = great excuse for not mowing the lawn.
2. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of naughty kids like dad saying "Don't make me take this pen out of my eye!"
1. The neighborhood kids are terrified of you and make up legendary stories about "Old Pen-Eye".

~Becky