One-Uppers

A pet peeve:

People who have what I like to call the "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better" complex. Which basically means (if you're not already able to derive the context of this), regardless of what you've done, what you've seen, who you've met, where you've been, how much you paid, and so on, they've already done it, seen it, known it, met it, bought it, and not only that, but they've done it in such a way so that when they tell you about their experience right after you share yours, you end up looking like the chump.

OK, I fucking hate this. I think I only have two real pet peeves about people in general - first, those people who don't treat you as well as you treat them for whatever reason. Fuck off, Jack - I'm nice to your sorry ass, so you can suck up whatever shitty day you're having and be nice right back to me. The other pet peeve is embodied by these idiots who're so stuck on proving how fucking cool they are that they shoot right past the "cool" territory and motorvate directly into the "pathetic look-at-me loser" territory. Trust me - if you have to tell me how cool you are, you're not cool at all.

Do you really think that telling me a story that will blow my experience out of the water is going to make me enamored of you? Do you think you're impressing me socially? Are you attempting in some odd way to be a friend here? Or do you just want to establish dominance over the conversation so you can rule some infintesimal part of your egocentric, self-conscious, pale imitation of a universe? Whatever. If you want to rule the conversation, do it. I'll find someone else to talk to.

Jackass.