Procrasti Nation

From the front page of Gmail:

Ever wish you could go back in time and send that crucial email that could have changed everything -- if only it hadn't slipped your mind? Gmail can now help you with those missed deadlines, missed birthdays and missed opportunities. Pre-date your messages You tell us what time you would have wanted your email sent, and we'll take care of the rest. Need an email to arrive 6 hours ago? No problem. Take sending emails to the past one step further. We let you make emails look like they've been read all along. Use your custom time stamped messages wisely -- each Gmail user gets ten per year. Forget your finance reports. Forget your anniversary. We'll make it look like you remembered.

In other words, "HEY! WE'RE GOOGLE MAIL! WE LOVE YOU! WE'LL HELP YOU LIE TO YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES! NOT TO MENTION YOUR BOSS TOO! WE'LL HELP YOU LOOK LIKE YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND THE PROBLEM ISN'T YOU, IT'S THE SERVER OF THE JERK HAVING THE BIRTHDAY! WHO LOVES YA, BABY?!"

Gmail, I love you, but... encouraging people to forget their anniversaries so you can pimp your new ability to falsify time & date stamps on emails is a little over the top. And restricting the emails to 10 a year is hilarious. Good lord... you know, I already receive spam that's dated in, like, 2038. And I get this ALL THE TIME. If you're going to be so damn cavalier about supporting procrastinators, go all the way! Don't puss out, Gmail!

Now, listen. Procrastinators - I'm one of 'em. In fact, I'm a charter member of the Procrastinators' Association of America, which has branches in Indiana, Pennsylvania, and North and South Carolina. Would you like to join? We have meetings... well, we WILL have meetings, but we haven't planned which night we're having them yet. But if you join now, you'll have an exclusive chance to order your own PAA jacket, which has our logo embroidered over the left breast. Well, you can get a jacket after we've placed the order. But we need to give them the design of the logo first. And before we can do that, we need to design the logo... 'cause it's not done. Not yet, anyway. But by Friday, yeah, definitely. It'll be done by Friday. Well... I have plans Friday, so it might be Saturday. Of next week. Maybe.

Anyway... yeah. Instead of time & date stamping, Gmail, why don't you try creating a web version of the Outlook calendar, so I don't miss the anniversary in the first place? Oh yeah... that's logical. SCREW THAT!!

Who's up for a movie? There's a good one playing this afternoon. Or... maybe we'll go tonight. Or tomorrow. Or maybe next week. Or next month. Screw it, let's wait for the DVD.