Grown up stupid questions

Here's a random meme. Have fun, kids.

Twenty deep questions that will really tell you something. Not stupid questions like "How Old Are You?" All NEW, Grown-up stupid questions!!!

1. Is it difficult for you to look into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Nope.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. Why were you angry? Uhhh... hahahahahahaha... SPIDERS IN THE COOLER!! That's all I have to say. Fuckin' hooer spiders.

3. You will die in three minutes. Last call? Erin.

4. You have three months to live.
(1) What do you do with your remaining days? Party my ass off with my "family of choice" and try to leave a mark on the world before I punch out.
(2) Would you be afraid? Probably...

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love. One doesn't go without the other. Sorry, thanks for playing.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the dog. When my boss threatens to fire me, I'll tell him that I'm going to work for the ASPCA and our first local legal case will be against my employer for disregard to animal welfare and the canine right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of doggy happiness.

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Yeah, even though it would probably mean... ba ba ba BUM... certain death!

8. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? Please, I give people places to live for free. Of course I'd want to be my friend.

9. Does sex=love? How much does it cost?

10. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss? For what? A hanky for the co-worker? Jesus... I work in Corporate America, where compassion = weakness and weakness = unemployment. However, I would make my co-worker a bundt cake to cheer them up. I make excellent bundt cakes.

11. When and how was the last time you told someone how you REALLY feel? This afternoon.

12. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back? That I'm pregnant with a form of alien spawn, and therefore never loved them.

13. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? breathing.

14. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? This evening.

15. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change? *Yelling across ocean of time at former self* College degree = money, shithead!!!!

16. Imagine, it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. What do you do? Turn on the outside lights. I SEE YOU OUT THERE, CURTIS!!! WEIRDO!!

17. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? I don't know CPR and you just can't fake that shit.

18. You are holding onto your Grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be? Uh, both my grandmothers are dead so I'd definitely drop the corpse. Probably out of reflex (agh!). Welcome back to the world, newborn baby that I do not know.

19. Are you old fashioned? Old-fashioned is good for three things: milkshakes, cars, and makin' whoopee.

20. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before? True love and a carton of cigarettes and case of liquor, deliverable to me after said heartbreak. Might as well do it in style.